Alright, Internet, even though I am off exploring the Mediterranean, I didn’t want to leave the blog hanging SO, I have asked a few wedding industry experts to give their two cents on some different perspectives of the wedding market. They are each talented and wonderful individuals who can provide helpful information for life and specifically wedding planning. Now, for those of you that are not planning a wedding or are already married, DON’T CHECK OUT JUST YET! You never know how something wedding related can be helpful in other areas of life or how you can help a friend that is planning their wedding. So, get ready for two weeks of some awesome guest bloggers!
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To kick us off, I wanted to start with an idea that is so important to me when I think about weddings and really needs to be foundational when planning one. In an age where Pinterest tells us that your wedding is all about how beautiful you can make it, we need to be reminded that once the party is over, what really matters is that your marriage is beautiful. So, I have asked my friend Debi Walter to share her input on ‘Planning The Wedding Marriage Of A Lifetime.’ Tom and Debi Walter are the creators of the marriage blog, The Romantic Vineyard established in 2008. They provide regular posts about growing your marriage for God’s glory. They have been cultivating their own romantic vineyard for most of their 35 years of marriage. It has been their conviction from the start. Now they are passionate about helping other couples discover the rich harvest of romance available to them no matter the current season. Enjoy some words of wisdom from Debi!
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Every girl dreams of her wedding day, the setting, the colors, the flowers, the music, and of course the dress! But it has always seemed odd to me that more attention is given to the day than all the days that follow.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a beautifully planned wedding ceremony. I’m a hopeless romantic, BUT not at the expense of what matters most.
Pre-marital Counseling is of most importance. Take a class together with your pastor. Many churches require them before they’ll perform your wedding, and we couldn’t agree more. When we were married we only met with our pastor once, and it wasn’t a very in-depth conversation. It’s good to have a third party bring up topics you might not think to discuss before you’re married–important things like: What would it take for you to divorce me? Disability? Infertility? Adultery? I know these are hard questions, but it’s good to find out what your fiancé thinks about such scenarios and when or if they would consider divorcing you. It’s better by far to find out before you make your vows than after, when its too late. Topics to include should be: communication, conflict resolution, money/budgets, spiritual life, how to raise your children, physical intimacy and family planning, to name a few.
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Another important aspect is to continue dating your spouse even after you’re married. Date nights have been a regular part of our 35 years of marriage, and what a positive impact it has had on our relationship. They have helped us nurture our friendship, especially when our three children were young and demanded so much of our energy. Now that all of our children are grown we’re excited for it to be just us again, rather than looking at each other wondering, “Who are you?” Sadly this is what happens to many marriages after 20+ years.
When conflict arises and you can be sure it will, resolve it quickly. Ignoring the issues won’t make them go away. They’ll only fester as time passes. Keep a short record at all times, even when the topics are hard to discuss.
Finally, realize that it’s the marriage that keeps your love alive, not love that keeps your marriage alive. The latter is dependent on how you feel, and feelings can’t be trusted. They come and go. But when we take our vows seriously we won’t be quick to quit. Those who have stayed the course through the trouble discover how much sweeter marriage grows on the other side. It’s worth it!
So as you prepare for the day, don’t neglect the life ahead of you. It’s of far more worth than the few hours it takes to say I Do.